i put myself in people’s minds and i get in their position and feel their feelings and thoughts. i’m very emotional lately because of that too…i put myself in my dads postion where he deals with a drug-addict daughter who only cares about her friends and all he does is work ALL day, 17 hours a damn day, and has no life, or my mom who has to hurt the people she loves to take that needed step in life to become one step closer to happiness, or my brother who had to deal with his parents splitting up..getting back together for a month and then splitting up again. i feel it all, everyone…not just my family..even a bum on the street to a family losing a loved one. it’s overwhelming, really is it. but i just want to help everybody and i can’t stress it enough. i brea down in tears almost every night that i’m not fucked up because i wanna be that change but i’m not capable. and all while this is happening i put my emotions to the side. i once read that the most important thing in life is to make sure that you, yourself, is happy because you’re truly the only person that matters, and i know it’s true but that’s not why i’m here. i’m not here to be selfish, i’m here to be selfless; people need to know that somenoe is here for them, they need to now that somebody else feels their pain. from the age 5 and up i wanted to die every day of my life because no one understand my pain…and i don’t want any to have to feel that way. no one deserves that, just like i didn’t. i want the world to smile and everyone to be swimming through rainbows of light.
why cant someone be there for me? no one even understands how emotionally unstable i am. im fuckin’ pathetic in every way possible. i tell myself everyday in this shit-filled life that all i need is acceptance and myself but all im doing is living a life of ignorance. i need someone. someone who cares. but no one cares.